Review: "The Arrest" by Kate William (created by Francine Pascal)

The Arrest by Kate William (created by Francine Pascal)
Published 1993
★★★

Book two of this miniseries and chaos reigns, as per usual. (Spoiler alert, for anyone who still wants to read this decades-old soap opera.) Elizabeth is formally arrested for manslaughter and forced to spend the night in a cell with (gasp!) ladies of the night, though the book does not openly say as much, just makes it clear that they are evil sluts. (As usual, very in line with the tone of this series, which treats "evil slut" as redundant.) Her completely fucking inept lawyer-father weakly suggests that Elizabeth lawyer up with an actual defense lawyer, then lets her wave off the suggestion and has exactly no lawyerly advice to give. (I'm not sure what sort of lawyer Ned Wakefield is supposed to be, except apparently not a very competent one.)

Meanwhile. Jessica—who spiked Elizabeth's drink at the dance, which may or may not be the reason there was a car crash (with Elizabeth presumably, though not definitely, driving) and Jessica's boyfriend is now dead—is as sociopathic as ever:

Jessica turned to look at the door that led to the bathroom connecting her room with her sister's. Elizabeth had been arrested. Elizabeth was in jail. Even though Jessica had played that silly joke on Elizabeth and Sam, the accident obviously had had nothing to do with Jessica. It was all Elizabeth's fault. Jessica leaned against the window frame, a smile on her lips. It was a sad smile, but it was the first time she'd smiled since the accident, so she took it as a sign. A sign that if Elizabeth was punished for Sam's death, then Jessica really would start to feel better. (18)

Even if their father did clear Elizabeth, even if she didn't spend the rest of her life in jail where she belonged, Jessica had finally realized the one thing that would make her feel better. The one thing that would ease some of the pain caused by Sam's death. And that was revenge. (27)

O...kay. Yes. This is absolutely a normal and healthy thought process. Definitely. So Jessica goes off to try to steal Todd, who—complete moron that he is—still hasn't reached out to Elizabeth, and now convinces himself that spending lots of time with Elizabeth's twin, who is now throwing herself bodily at Todd, is a good way to reconnect with the girlfriend he's abandoned. And if that's not bad enough, he tries to comfort Jessica over the loss of her boyfriend: "I do know how you feel," Todd whispered. "I really do. I miss Liz so much, I feel like I'm losing my mind." (82)

Um...no? No. Sam died, Todd. That's why Jessica misses him. You miss Elizabeth because you abandoned her when she needed support, and you still haven't so much as picked up the phone to call her.

I can't even with Todd.

By way of B plots, we have 1) Bruce still pining over a girl he now thinks is a slutty slut and thus not worth his playboy time; 2) Lila's mother visiting for the first time since Lila was two because Lila is dealing with trauma; and 3) Nicholas Morrow trying to find a girlfriend and going on some completely irrational TV show as a result. Here's why Nicholas thinks he's a catch: He didn't drink, gamble, drive too fast... (22). Y'all, how many high schoolers do you know who are worried about whether or not their boyfriend is a gambler? I'm not saying there aren't any 16-year-old card sharks or slot machine fiends, but...surely not so many that that's a thing Nicholas thinks should set him apart? Oh, and when he takes one of the girls from the TV show out, they're forced to change their dinner plans: By the time they were seated at their table—not at the expensive French restaurant he had planned on, but at Bobo's Burger Barn, the only place that would allow Susan in in her flip-flops... (99). You mean to tell me that there is one place in town that will allow flip-flops? This seems...suspect.

Meanwhile, poor Lila—her mother is visiting from Paris, and Lila's friends are bored stiff at hearing Lila talk about it. And...as much as it sounds like she's a little one-note, of course it's all Lila can think about. This is the mother Lila has been thinking about for years, who as far as I can tell hasn't put in the slightest effort to keep in touch, and Lila is pinning all her hopes and dreams on her. It would be a very good time for her friends to actually support her, but...they're popular. Can't have any interests between clothes and boys, I guess. And clothes only count if the intent is to look good for boys, not for meeting one's estranged mother.

(Also, racism much? Collecting herself, Jessica put on her brightest cheerleader smile. "Of course," she said lightly. She took up a large forkful of salad. "And I think you're absolutely right. Mexican is too ethnic for someone from Paris. She'll be used to much more elegant food." (31))

Oh, and of course we have Margo, who is making her way across the country to California...and leaving a trail of bodies in her wake.