Review: "Do I Know You?" by Sadie Dingfelder

Do I Know You? by Sadie Dingfelder
Published June 2024 via Little, Brown Spark
★★★★

Dingfelder knew she wasn't great at remembering faces—but mistaking another man for her husband at the grocery store (there's a whole thing about peanut butter) was one of the clearer clues that she just might have something more going on than a bit of spaciness. And so began a quest to figure it out: a seasoned reporter, Dingfelder reached out to scientist after scientist running studies on the brain to learn more about face blindness and other associated conditions...and to get herself into those studies to see where those conditions fit into her own experience.

I spent a fair amount of time, while reading, trying to come up with a fitting word for the book's tone, and for now at least I've landed on punchy. Dingfelder brings a lot of energy to the project, and although the book is full of research, it's never dry. The tone wasn't 100% for me—personal preference—but the science is fascinating and more than makes up for it. If you haven't heard of face blindness (prosopagnosia), have a look at some photos of people you recognize...and then flip those photos upside-down and see if how much more difficult it is to recognize them. There's science behind why some people can recognize other people instantly, even if it's been years, and others struggle to place the face of their own family member (guess which camp Dingfelder falls into)—and a lot of that science is worked into the book—but at its core, what you need to know is that it's not as simple as having a bad memory for names.

Face blindness sounds lonely to me. I've only met one person who identified as having it (though probably I've known other people with some degree of face blindness, whether or not they were aware of it), and I don't know what her experience was like (though I will be recommending this book to her!), but it sounds like something that can be really isolating without the sorts of tricks that Dingfelder learned along the way. But it's not all loneliness (and for all that I said that the tone wasn't always my personal preference, this bit made me giggle):

"I hardly remember anyone from school anymore," I say. "Honestly, I don't even remember your kids' names, or how old they are, or what you do for work, or where exactly you live."

"You've always been like that," Brown Anne says.

"No one expects you to remember things," Red Ann says. "We expect you to tell good stories."

My heart floods with joy and gratitude. These guys really know me! And while the facts of their lives slip through my fingers, I know them too—amorphous things, like the cadence of their speech, the kinds of drinks they will order, and how they will respond to my stories about learning to drive. (Red Ann: concern for my safety; Brown Anne: concern for other people's safety.) (loc. 1989*)

A very quick read for those who are insatiably curious about medical curiosities...or just insatiably curious in general.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.