Review: "Hope, Faith & Destiny" by Laxmidas A. Sawkar

Hope, Faith & Destiny by Laxmidas A. Sawkar
Published June 2024
★★★

These are the memoirs of a doctor who was born and raised in India and eventually specialized in oncology. I'm a fan of both memoir and medical books—not to mention books that take place in cultures that are not my own—so naturally I was curious. (Also, I read The Reluctant Doctor a while back and wanted to know how the experiences might differ! Quite a lot, as it happens, for any number of reasons, but let's call it another data point on the map.)

Hope, Faith & Destiny was written with Dr. Sawkar's grandchildren in mind, and it's the sort of thing that I wish more older adults would do. He's not a trained writer, of course, but these are stories that would otherwise someday be lost to time. I would have loved some more details of time and place (what did Dr. Sawkar's childhood home look like? Did he have a school uniform? What were the medical school facilities like, and how did they differ from the facilities when he moved to the US? Other than food and family, what about India did he find himself missing?), because that sort of thing is always fascinating to me, but his voice is clear throughout the book. I also would have loved more patient stories, but they aren't really the focus of the book.

All in all, an interesting and quick read, and a good use...for once...of my temporary Kindle Unlimited affliction.

Review (Deutsch): "Elf Zahlen" von Lee Child

Elf Zahlen von Lee Child (übersetzt von Kerstin Fricke)
Herausgegeben von Amazon Original Stories

Ein Job für einen amerikanischen Mathematiker—wie gefährlich kann das sein?

Naja, wenn der Job in Moskau ist...

Ich habe diese Geschichte zuerst auf Englisch gelesen, und es freut mich immer, Geschichten auf Deutsch zu lesen, wenn ich die Geschichte schon verstehe. Es gibt immer noch Spannung: Obwohl ich das Ende schon gekannt habe, war es eine Überraschung zu sehen, wie spät in der Geschichte die Handlungswendungen kommen.

Elf Zahlen ist eine Geschichte zum Thema Mathematik, aber nicht wirklich—Mathematik ist hier wichtig (und, vielleicht, Musik), aber eigentlich geht es um Politik und Macht, Gefängnis und Ehrlichkeit. Ich will nicht zu viel sagen (es ist eine Kurzegeschichte! Keine Spoiler!), aber auf Englisch war es ein Tapetenwechsel, und auf Deutsch auch. Ich hoffe, dass Elf Zahlen nur das Erste von vielen Kurzegeschichte-Übersetzungen ist.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley. Deutsch ist nicht meine Muttersprache, und alle Fehler sind meine eigenen.

Review (Deutsch): "Mein größtes Geschenk—meine Essstörung" von Jackie Freitag

Mein größtes Geschenk – meine Essstörung von Jackie Freitag
Herausgegeben von KVM – Der Medizinverlag, Januar 2024
★★★

Ich war bereit, alles zu geben, um mein Ziel zu erreichen. Mein Leben wurde zu einem riesengroßen Kampf. (loc. 742)

Für Freitag war etwas klar: Schule war nicht ihr Ding, aber Gewichtsverlust war es...Gewichtsverlust, und Fitness, und andere Dinge, die gesund sein können—oder die sehr ungesund sein können.

Natürlich war ich einverstanden und meldete mich direkt für die Trainerlizenz an. Alles, was ich dort lernen sollte, kannte ich bereits und es machte mir große Freude zu sehen, dass ich endlich etwas lernte, was mir leichtfiel, und dass ich dabei war, die Beste in diesem Bereich zu werden. (loc. 2168)

Ich fand es ganz interessant, wie Fitness beide so ungesund und so gesund für Freitag war. Zuerst eine Erleichterung: etwas, das für Freitag endlich einfach war. Und danach etwas wie ein schmutziges Geheimnis:

Mein Coach gab mir Tabletten zum Entwässern und zusätzlich noch irgendetwas, das ich nicht kannte. Aber das war mir egal. Meine Gesundheit war mir eh immer schon unwichtiger gewesen als meine optischen Ziele. (loc. 2231)

Durch meine Fitnesskollegen bekam ich mit, dass es in der Szene normal war, sich nach dem Wettkampf mit Essen vollzustopfen. (loc. 2209)

...und schließlich etwas mit Gleichgewicht.

Ich hatte nie gelernt, mit meinem Körper zusammenzuarbeiten und auf meine Bedürfnisse zu hören. Es fühlte sich so an, als würde ich eine neue Sprache erlernen. (loc. 3009)

Die Idee, dass eine Essstörung ein Geschenk sein kann...das ist nicht neu, aber es ist nicht genau meine Lieblingsidee. Nett, ja, eine Erfahrung zu haben, damit man etwas nützlich tun kann...aber netter, ich denke, einen anderen (glücklicher, gesunder, nicht so kompliziert) Weg zu finden, damit man etwas auch nützlich tun kann. Naja—es ist Freitags Erfahrung und Meinung; das kann ich nicht kritisieren. Ein gutes Buch für Leser/innen, die etwas neues über Sport und Essstörungen lernen wollen.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley. Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final. Deutsch ist nicht meine Muttersprache, und alle Fehler sind meine eigenen.

Neue Wörter:
der Schimmel: the mold
zittrig: shaky
Fressanfall: binge eating
prägnante: concise
die Sackgasse: the dead end
picobello: spotless
dämmrig: dim
hundeelend: miserable
ich traute mich ja nicht: I didn't dare
das Mobbing: the bullying
Schockstarre: shock
Rindertatar: beef tartare
Blähbauch: bloated stomach

Review: "Jo of the Chalet School" by Elinor M. Brent-Dyer

Jo of the Chalet School by Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
Published 1926
★★★

Book 2! In which the Chalet School has grown exponentially (conveniently, every time the school grows another chalet, perfect for their needs, becomes available to let), the Middles battle the prefects about slang (and go full Elizabethan English as a result), the girls have a new singing teacher but manage not to fall in love with him, and there's a flood. Probably some other things, but I'm writing this a week after finishing it, so, you know. Some things have been lost to time.

Oh, this is also the book in which Robin shows up, and everyone immediately falls in love. Madge does collect the strays, doesn't she? In book 1, Juliet was abandoned to the care of Madge and the Chalet School; now it's Robin, who is not abandoned but is given over to the total care of Madge. I guess Brent-Dyer wanted a little sister for Joey. And of course Madge gets engaged, though with a promise that she'll be Head for some time yet.

It is all predictably Sweet and Good (any of these girls can be reformed by a good scolding) but compulsively readable nonetheless. In this one Joey makes an effort to write an Elsie Dinsmore book, and I'm almost tempted to go reread one myself—we'll see. Will definitely be rereading more of the Chalet School books, though—how could I resist?

Counts:
Pretty: 38+ (the pretty pale-green curtains, her pretty French, your pretty Christian name... count does not include "prettiest", "prettily-embroidered", etc.)
Fresh: 4 (looking very fresh and pretty, looking fresh and dainty, looked fresh and trim... count does not include "fresh wind", etc.)
Honest injun: 2. Neither of which anyone objects to, despite the injunction against slang.
Little: 255 (gregarious little soul, the little white steamer, a dear little girl, a quiet little mouse, a little sallow face—includes "little sister" and "a little freedom" and the like, but dear god)
Dainty: 5 (its dainty yellow curtains, neat and dainty, a dainty little collar)
Delicate: 6 (the delicate face, her delicate face, delicate fingers)

Review: "Because I Knew You" by Robert Macauley

Because I Knew You by Robert Macauley
Published June 2025 via Chehalem Press
★★★★

When Macauley found pediatric palliative care, it felt like a calling. Not his only calling, as it happens; he's also ordained in the Episcopal church, is a medical ethicist (which has a lot of practical overlap with palliative care, but it sounds like also a lot of tensions between the two fields), and has an MFA and a whole host of certifications. You might call him an overachiever. (I wonder whether he and Tori Murden McClure would get on?)

This is some of that story, told largely through the contexts of a handful of the pediatric patients Macauley worked with. Pediatric palliative care is a hard, hard thing; in adult palliative care, too, you know you will be working with people who have serious illnesses—and the expectation is that many or most of them will die sooner rather than later—but, as Macauley says again and again, kids aren't supposed to die. And yet for so many of his patients, there just wasn't another viable option, and the best-case scenario was for the patients and/or their families to find some beauty among the wreckage.

This is one of those bright spots. Because I Knew You distills years of clinical practice—and personal experiences—into a thoughtful, sometimes painful look at what goes into helping children (and their families) through things nobody should have to imagine. I can imagine it making a particularly difficult read for people with children, but it's worth the read anyway; palliative care (and medical ethics) is something we should all be at least conversant in, for the simple reason that chances are high that at some point you will find yourself making decisions about yourself or a loved one, and those decisions will hopefully include palliative care.

A quick note: Macauley touches on but does not, I think, explicitly define the difference between palliative care and hospice care. They so often go hand in hand that people tend to conflate the two, and it's worth mentioning that palliative care is not only for the terminally ill; the point is quality of life (and often pain control) in any severe illness, whether or not death is expected in the near future. Just noting this because my non-medical self has had to explain this difference to too many very smart people! If you or a loved one is going through major medical things, it can be incredibly valuable to inquire about palliative care options.

Anyway—overall an excellent look at something that doesn't get quite enough attention. Would absolutely read more along these lines.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

Review: "The Chancellor's Mansion" by Jamie Arty

The Chancellor's Mansion by Jamie Arty
Published July 2025 via Andscape Digital
★★★★

With a toddler and brand-new twins, Arty's family was bursting out of their house. She and her husband were desperate for space, somewhere their kids could be kids, maybe somewhere big enough to fit Arty's in-laws instead. They weren't really looking for a project—but oh boy did a project find them.

Every room was strange and unpredictable. And precarious! Among the nine bathrooms we found, one large bath had clearly once been elegant, with a marble fireplace, hand-painted tiles in a shell motif, and 1940s-era wallpaper covered in swooping swallows, kingfishers, and lily pads. Another bathroom, narrow and tight, had a cast-iron clawfoot tub, but also wall-to-wall newspaper covering an enormous hole in the floor. It was like an Indiana Jones movie, some places in that house, where any step you took could make something fall on you, or swing something at you, or drop you into somewhere else. (loc. 576*)

Imagine buying a house without any real way of knowing ahead of time how many bathrooms it had, let alone how many rooms total. (The answer to the latter part of that equation: 32.) I mean, also imagine calling the 2,200-square-foot place next door a "small cottage"—while I have zero doubt that that space felt small when seven people were living there, the house I grew up in was about 1,400 square feet for five people, so I did have to laugh. If 2,200 square feet is a "small cottage", did I grow up in a shack? Or is "small cottage" only relative to 32 rooms?

But I digress. As a house renovation story (one of my favourite memoir subgenres, and yes, I know that's weird), this is charming and also a great vicarious experience. Arty's voice is strong—she worked with a ghostwriter, but this feels genuine—and she takes a balanced perspective on the desire to restore vs. the need to bring things into the modern age.

The real bonus here, though, is that Arty is also interested in the history of the house, and more generally of Black people in the area. One of the reasons she and her husband ended up with this particular house—which they stumbled across on their own—was that more than one realtor tried to limit them to less desirable houses in less desirable neighbourhoods (never mind what they could afford); she talks openly about the experience of navigating real estate while Black and then dives deep into what it would have been like to be Black in that area in the past. I'm ashamed to say that I'd either forgotten or didn't know in the first place how long it took for the "free" states to be actually free; I knew, of course, that the Fugitive Slave Act (among other things) could effectively turn free states into slave states, but not that it took New York and New Jersey about as long as the South to abolish slavery.

All of this is relevant to the book—Arty traces the history of the people who owned the house before her family, and the history of some of the people who worked there, and the slave trade is, ah, very relevant. I love that this house is in new hands, and that Arty and her family can make something new of it—preserve what should be preserved, make note of what no longer needs to be there, memorialize the people who would otherwise be forgotten, and bring new life into the house.

One thing that is missing for me, though: what do you do with 32 rooms? How do you even begin to fill that much space? And good golly, how do you even begin to keep it clean? I like dreaming of big houses (I live in a one-bedroom apartment), but when I think of ways to use that space that I would actually use, I kind of run out of ideas after "home library" and "home gym". (Maybe "second home library"...) And then I think about the fact that I need to dust my small apartment, and I get overwhelmed even by that. I guess it's just as well that I'm only living vicariously through house-restoration memoirs...

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

Review: Short story: "Abscond" by Abraham Verghese

Abscond by Abraham Verghese
Published July 2025 via Amazon Original Stories

Grief tears us apart, and if we're lucky, it brings us closer together—something the protagonist of this short story has to learn at far too young an age.

This is the first time I've read any of Verghese's work, though of course some of his books (Cutting for Stone, My Own Country) have long been on my radar. I'm intrigued by the timing here, and by the cultural nuance: This is set in 1960s New Jersey, but other than a lack of cell phones the setting wasn't really something that I noticed until after the fact. In retrospect, though, it adds some depth to Ravi's interactions with some of his neighbors and friends.

Without spoilers, I'll say that I'm cautious about books about this kind of grief these days, but a short story was about what I can sit with. But what I like best is the observations about the ways in which so many people do not know what to do with that grief, and it's sometimes the least likely people you'd expect who know how and when to lean in.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

Review: "Bloody Mary" by Kristina Gehrmann

Bloody Mary by Kristina Gehrmann
English edition published July 2025 via Andrews McMeel
★★★★

You know the story. A princess is born—but because she's not a prince, she's not worth all that much, and neither is her mother. This is a graphic biography-come-novel about Mary I, which is to say that it's based in fact but throws in plenty of dialogue and thoughts and so on that can't be known.

This is a delight as a reading experience—doesn't shy away from the grimmer parts of life in the royal court in the 1500s (plenty of beheadings to go around), but the art is great, and Mary gets to be quite the complex character. I remember that when I read about Mary when I was a child, it was sort of in the context of Elizabeth, which is to say that Elizabeth was treated as the heroine, and Mary as a villain. I guess it was easier to distill that down for children's books. But here, neither Elizabeth nor Mary nor Edward is a villain: Mary resents that she is so easily displaced, but she does view her siblings as siblings, and they are so much younger than she is (Mary was seventeen when Elizabeth was born, and twenty-one when Edward was born) that she has a role in raising them. Here, Mary wants her due as a princess, but she means more to stay in the line of succession than to force her siblings out of it.

Then, too, there is the question of religion. Henry VIII split from the Catholic church, spawning the English Reformation; books in which Elizabeth is the (Protestant) heroine sometimes paint Mary as, you know, one of those backward Catholics, I guess because it's backward to not want your mother to be divorced and basically banished and yourself to be disinherited so that your dad can go chasing after the next hot young thing...? And of course in real life Mary's approach to religion was to burn a whole lot of "heretics", so it's impossible to be all that much of a Mary fan, but it's worth noting that a whole lot of royal life in the 1500s seems to have been about basic survival and ensuring your future.

How much of this is true to life is of course something we cannot really know. The book portrays Mary as smart and determined, with an incredibly strong (if sometimes misguided) moral compass—but also an intense and warring survival instinct. That's probably as fair an assessment as any, though gosh I wouldn't have wanted to be in Mary's crosshairs. This is probably one for teenagers and beyond (mostly because of violence, though there are also plenty of allusions to sex), but it's a good one.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

Review: "Skinny" by L.K. Maddox

Skinny by L.K. Maddox
Published July 2024
★★

A quick collection of poetry. This is part of what I think of as a subgenre of catharsis poetry—written with a lot of emotion but not necessarily much to underpin it. I'm all for people writing their angst-heavy poetry, but I struggled to distinguish between most of the poems here (until the end, when there's a shift to talking about recovery). Lots of rhyme, but without a consistent rhyme scheme; personal preference, of course, but I found a lot of the rhymes a bit forced (wording and directional choices based on what would rhyme or come close to rhyming rather than what would move the poem along) and would have preferred fewer attempts at rhyme and more imagery, metaphor, pieces to pick apart.

So nothing wrong with what's here, but not something that will stick with me.

Review: "Mailman" by Stephen Starring Grant

Mailman by Stephen Starring Grant
Published July 2025 via Simon & Schuster
★★★

In 2020, the world turned upside-down, and Grant was laid off. This was a problem, because Grant was the breadwinner at home; it was a second problem, because most health insurance in the US is tied to employment, and Grant had health concerns that meant that health insurance was a need-to-have, not a nice-to-have. And because it was 2020, his regular avenues of work had dried up...and the place he could get hired, right away, with health insurance also right away, was the postal service.

I have a thing about books about Jobs I Never Knew I Didn't Want. Don't want to do the job, but read about it? Yes please. Grant found that there were things he loved about the job and things that were interminable; I expect I would enjoy a lot of the same things and, well, be frustrated by a lot of the same things. (I don't drive, so the mail service would be a doubly unlikely job for me...but I do think I'd really, really enjoy the sort of non-rural route that involves a lot of walking. Well, I'd enjoy it once all the mail was sorted and I was out delivering it.)

A lot of your enjoyment of this book will probably depend on how well you connect with the voice and the worldview. This one wasn't really for me—too much enthusiasm about guns and hoo-rah attitude towards the US. There's quite a lot of "look at this great thing that the US does!" that is nice and all but is outdated even before the book is published because there's been a regime change between the writing of the book and the publication of the book, and, well. Not to get political in a book review, but whether the mail service is in the Constitution or not probably doesn't mean much to the current government. (And when Grant tells us earnestly that in 1776 it was hard to be represented by the government, I have to think that he means that it's gotten better for white men? There are plenty of citizens whose right to vote the government actively works to suppress, and Grant is very optimistic at times at how well his overtly racist colleagues got on with his POC colleagues.) Also rather wish he'd edited himself when he took pains to clarify that his once-upon-a-time-yoga-instructor-therapist's PhD was not one he respected (surely it would have been easier to just not mention the PhD?).

So...some hits and some misses. Again, I really enjoyed the part of the book that was, you know, about delivering the mail. (Side note: Cancer gets top billing in the book description, but it is a footnote in the book. There are good reasons for its footnote status, so that part's fine, but it probably shouldn't have made it into the book description either. Grant probably wasn't the one who wrote the copy, but just something to note!) I've never thought about rural vs. city routes before, or thought much about the work that goes into delivering the mail between the point when it arrives at the post office and the point when postal workers drive out in their loaded-up trucks (or, as it happens, personal cars—did not know that was a requirement for some of the roles). Grant ended up on a less rural route than he (or I) necessarily expected, thanks to the growing sprawl of suburbia, and while I was a bit sorry that there wasn't a bit more rural to it, that's obviously not something within his control for the book. Nice to read about something that is so far outside my wheelhouse, anyway.

Perhaps this isn't quite one for my hypothetical Jobs I Never Knew I Didn't Want list...but at least one for an (equally hypothetical) list of Jobs That Probably Aren't for Me but Isn't It Fun to Dream.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.